i read a lot as a child.
reading was easier than the give and take of conversation,
where thoughts i had mustered up the courage to speak could be interrupted at any moment.
i think this fear of losing my train of thought
(because i had to take in someone else’s thoughts on my thoughts)
was one of the things that led me to write songs
and perform on stage.
you’re not supposed to stop
and listen to the hecklers when you perform.
i found that concept a very attractive one.
back to what i started with:
i read a lot as a child
and yesterday’s writing prompt
from jordan elishiva (who is running a #31poems challenge for the month of october)
was ‘drawing inspiration from books’.
so, i thought i’d pull the one
that inspired me most as a child off the shelf and reread it.
this was my absolute favorite when i was 9 or 10
and i had thought that i’d sort of ‘stole her style’
when i decided how to present myself
on this blog and in my writing.
rereading the now yellowed pages this morning,
i realized for the first time that i sound nothing like ann kiemel.
it was a big surprise to see how different my voice is from hers.
exciting to have found my own creative expression,
but scary, too.
there was something comforting in thinking
that i was only a shadow of her,
there is something very exposing in seeing
that i am just me
out here on
and it’s a good thing, i think,
it’s just gonna take a little time to wrap my head around.
thanks for sticking with me
while i suss it all out!