me, not her

i read a lot as a child.

reading was easier than the give and take of conversation,

where thoughts i had mustered up the courage to speak could be interrupted at any moment.

i think this fear of losing my train of thought

(because i had to take in someone else’s thoughts on my thoughts)

was one of the things that led me to write songs

and perform on stage.

you’re not supposed to stop

and listen to the hecklers when you perform.

i found that concept a very attractive one.

back to what i started with:

i read a lot as a child

and yesterday’s writing prompt

from jordan elishiva (who is running a #31poems challenge for the month of october)

was ‘drawing inspiration from books’.

so, i thought i’d pull the one

that inspired me most as a child off the shelf and reread it.img_5774

this was my absolute favorite when i was 9 or 10

and i had thought that i’d sort of ‘stole her style’

when i decided how to present myself

on this blog and in my writing.

rereading the now yellowed pages this morning,

i realized for the first time that i sound nothing like ann kiemel.

it was a big surprise to see how different my voice is from hers.

exciting to have found my own creative expression,

but scary, too.

there was something comforting in thinking

that i was only a shadow of her,

there is something very exposing in seeing

that i am just me

out here on

my own.

and it’s a good thing, i think,

it’s just gonna take a little time to wrap my head around.

thanks for sticking with me

while i suss it all out!

‘world’ taken from 19:1-4 of the psalms.

4 thoughts on “me, not her

  1. Hi There!
    My name is Debby and I am a friend of your mom and dad. I go to E.N.C. and I am in their small group. I really enjoy their company a lot.
    Your mom brought your new book for me to have a peek at Sunday night!! It is amazing!! Although I don’t knit I am addicted to crocheting and yarn and I can appreciate your stiches and designs.
    I had a look on your ravelry site also!
    Along with your cool fun and funky designs I also like the photography and your backgrounds. Thoughtful. (I feel like I am using too many adjectives for awesome right now dah) haaha.
    I have made a couple of patterns up in crochet and I am such a dufus on the computer that I haven’t put anything out. Kathy told me a little of some of the scrutany that you went through from… I guess and am calling them a knitting board of experts. I find it all very interesting .
    I love and have learned so much on pinterest. Do you have a blog or anything on there?
    You are blessed to have such wonderedful parents.
    Just a short note for you,
    Best Wishes,
    Keep up the good work!

    • hey debbie, thanks so much for your kind words. my parents are great and that colors all of who i am beautiful ways.

  2. I was a voracious reader as a child. I still read a great deal! I finally tracked down a childhood favorite book, from the Orlando the Marmalade Cat series. My brother and I loved those books, and the illustrations are amazing to me even now. I would love to own the whole set! Maybe someday. I loved books about animals, horses, dogs. The Five Little Peppers, and the Bobbsey Twins books were favorites, Nancy Drew and a Cherry Ames series I borrowed from my cousin. There were many many more. How could I forget A.A Milne!?
    When I was teaching a little boy who had autism, days he was absent, I worked in the school library. Well, worked isn’t quite what I did. I was teased all the time about spending all my time supposedly restocking books, and being found sitting in an aisle reading childrens’ literature. Now I have a daughter-in-law who writes childrens books. Now I’m going to go get Orlando and just look at the pictures.

  3. i love how much you love the kid books, samm. there is something about the simplicity of the stories that draws me in, too.

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